I Am Capable

I think I have felt every single emotion in the last few weeks. From feeling happy due to being accepted into an Occupational Therapy program, sad and heartbroken from losing a loved one, feeling overwhelmed and stressed after hearing about how my life may change in January once my program begins, and more- I seriously think I've felt every emotion and just wanted to scream at times. Being human means feeling emotion though, and I know this- therefore I allowed myself to feel what I needed to feel and am still trying to remain grateful and positive despite not fully knowing what's to come every day. Your future is a scary thing to think about, and getting older also means making hard decisions... even if you genuinely just don't fully know what to do. Although I am super excited to start my Occupational Therapy journey, doubt and worry creep into my mind and make me feel as though I am not capable of such a hard thing. With it being such a busy and time-consuming schedule and all the hard work that comes along with it, I keep finding myself more stressed and nervous than excited. This, I know, is a completely normal thing to feel and I just have to remind myself that I have done hard things before, I am capable, and everything will be okay. I just have to get into the routine of having school again and prioritizing my education, along with my mental health, and I know I will be okay and great. I will have to find a balance between school and life, along with finding a way to make money despite not having as much time- but I know it is possible and I know I am capable. So if anyone is facing similar feelings/life changes - you are not alone and you are more than capable to do anything you want :) Everything will be okay!!!

Little Life Update

I wish I could get back into blogging as much as I used to. I know I could if I really prioritized it, but I just need to get back into the habit. ANYWAYS - I got into an Occupational Therapy program!!!! I will be starting in January and wow am I excited but also extremely nervous. I have been interested in the Occupational Therapy field for the last 4 ish years and I am finally on some type of track to actually becoming an Occupational Therapist in a couple of years. I know it will be a lot of hard work to get to that point, but I know I am capable of anything I set my mind to. Not having classes the last few months has been extremely interesting- in the first month or so I felt more bored at times and wished I had some school work to do and actually found myself watching crash courses in my free time (LOL) (I know, weird! But how can I go from being in school for the last 16 years of my life to not in school at all? I know others can agree it's strange!) But after that first month or so of feeling like I am missing being in classes, I spent my time working, doing things for myself, and spending time with my people- and now I am kinda not ready to go back to having school take up some of my time! I know once I get back into it and adjust to having schoolwork back into my life, I will be okay and grateful and ready to kick the OT program's butt. Other than that exciting news, I have really just been going through the motions. Definitely trying to take advantage of and soak in having all of this free time, but also feel some type of sadness/fear as I know the next phase of my life is coming so fast and it will definitely bring some big changes as my priorities shift. Life is not meant to always be the same though, and I know, whatever happens, happens for a reason. Life is more fun with some twists and turns and stepping out of your comfort zone, even if it is a little scary at times. "I am capable" is one of my favorite affirmations recently, and I know everyone else is capable to do great and hard things as well. :)

Life Currently

Well... it's been a few months. I ended up getting that job that I mentioned in my last post, finishing off my last full semester with a 4.0, and am now in my last two classes of undergrad. How the hell am I graduating from college soon?! It's really not settling well with me. I feel as though my college experience is not the typical one people have, as I started with community college and moved across the country to a place where nothing was familiar to me- and then back home early because I learned I liked being home more and, yanno, saving on an expensive apartment was also a plus-side to being all online my last couple semesters. I really wonder sometimes if I would've stuck it out in Florida where my life would be now, but at the same time, I have absolutely loved being back home (despite the snow we had this past winter...). I learned that I would much rather prefer to be close to home and all of my people (at least for the time being). On another note, I applied to an OT graduate program recently. I still would love to be an OT, but I do have to admit after working in the medical field currently as a medical assistant alongside nurses, a career in nursing has really crossed my mind recently. I'm really stuck on those two career paths and am not sure which to do, but both are great fields, so I know whichever way I decide to go I won't regret it! Life is crazy and people are allowed to change their minds, it's just sometimes (most of the time) a very stressful process. Another part of me wants to take the easy way out and find a job with my degree because the thought of 2+ more years of school doesn't sound that appealing- but at the same time, I can't really imagine my life without school. Decisions decisions!!! Also, how is it already almost July?!